The mysterious tale of nikhab and the HMS Birkenhead

Until a few years ago, I had fondly believed that talking about the weather was an exclusively British pastime. It came as something of a surprise when I arrived in Saudi Arabia, to find that the Saudis enjoy a spot of weather-talk too. When I say a ‘spot’, I mean a large, precipitous blob.

Sandstorm outside the office

During my first few months, the sunshine was constant, heat unbearable and skies persistently blue. Conditions, it has to be said, which fostered little creativity in the weather-talk department. One morning however, while England would have been enjoying mellow fruitfulness, a sandstorm brewed outside the office window. I had a meeting that day in another office, about a 500 metre walk away. I set out. We British after all must sally forth without let or hindrance, particularly when to hop behind the wheel in Saudi would have attracted 50 lashes. My Saudi colleagues bid me farewell in the mode of Shackleton's relatives. For 24 hours after my foray, I experienced an odd crunchiness around the teeth, my eyes itched and I had to send every layer of clothing, from Abaya* fleshwards, to the (extortionate) hotel laundry from whence they never emerged.

Jeddah during flood

 

By February that year, talk in Saudi had turned to rain. For two years prior to my arrival, there had been floods around the building. Rain is a recent phenomenon in the Middle East, and the infrastructure has ignored its arrival. As we entered the danger period, iPhone pictures were circulated showing floating cars in the car park and swirling water where the steps should be. At the first sight of a puffy, white cloud, my colleagues would head for home.

Three men in a boat

While alone in the building after one such exodus, I had a poke around to see what I could find. In the basement, I found a boat. When I enquired, I was told that the boat was to evacuate the ladies. On further investigation, I discovered that the year before, the (few) ladies were stranded in the office overnight; so anxious were the men to save themselves that they nicked the boat.

Three ladies not in a boat

In that moment, it became clear why Middle Eastern men enshroud their women in impractical clothing, preventing both clear sight and free movement. It is to enable the men to run faster and secure 'first dibs' in emergency rescue situations! 

Luckily, no such nonsense in Europe where this year, we are all shocked by the devastation wrecked by unusual weather. We pray to Allah (or any other power, whom we find preferable) for the safety of all in its wake. 

*See To buy and Abaya - 2013