
I purchased a couple of smock-like
garments, started to wear my hair down with a fresh, Bohemian rake, waited for
inspiration and for words to miraculously appear on the page. Nothing happened.
I challenged Amazon to find me in the depths of rural France, ordering
a couple of ‘How to write a novel’ publications. They found me. I studied and
to my surprise, sitting around pouting like Virginia Woolf or tripping the
light fantastic a la Aldous H wasn’t going to do it. To write a novel, the tomes
espoused, I needed objectives, a plan, an outline design, milestones and
targets. It felt like time was moving backwards.

Today I drove to the nearest town with shops
sufficiently substantial to have heard of printer cartridges. After much
internet activity, a young man handed over the cartridges bearing the exact
number of my printer. In went the cartridges, swiftly followed by an error
message. A time warp had sucked me into its vortex! Several hours later and
with hair resembling Tina Turner rather than the fragrant JKR, I find that my
printer, purchased in Abu Dhabi,
needs special Middle Eastern cartridges! Presumably with Islamic, alcohol free
ink! I won’t find any of them in France!
On the bright side, I have a bona fide
excuse for my nascent editor. If I can get some cartridges shipped over, I will
deliver on my milestone sometime next week …… Insha’Allah!!*
See ‘Smallprint in the Sunshine’ – October
2013